So.....I've really been thinking about colleges lately and although I finally decided to go to Cosmetology school....I really want to have the whole "college" experience. I feel as though working really isn't the most important thing right now at a young age. Today I watched my brother graduate finally after several years of school and heard how glad he was to accomplish that. So I begin to think....What about me? So....the thought has been put in my mind to do Cosmetology at night as planned and go to APU during the day. All I need to do is get out of debt by the end of the year, get a new car, and find a PART time job to pay for the car and gas. Once I have my cosmetology license then I will be able to do that.......AH....it's all a bunch of thoughts and i'm not sure how it's all gonna work but my dream is to be completely devoted to school but I never feel like I have a chance to do so and I don't want to look back and be in regret.

sorry for rambling...I just feel like I can do that on here because only a few people actually still keep up with xanga. I feel like xanga is the only personal web page that I can feel free to write anything.

Hello people who still read this...

I'm writing this to ask for prayer. The Lord has put Mali on my heart so drastically that I have been praying and seeking the Lord in what He wants me to do in regards to it. Over the past few weeks the Lord has put it on my heart to take a team of about 5-7 college aged people over there for a semester. I would love to be able to help at the school on Fridays when they have their Bible class, to help build up more class rooms, to teach some of them drama's for their outreaches, to help at the church, with childrens ministry, start an evangelism team, and to share the Lord with as many people as possible. Please be in prayer as I continue to seek the Lord and find His will for this. Pray for financial support as well as prayer support, pray that the Lord will designate the team to go, pray that this will all be in God's timing and that I nor anyone else will take one step before the Lord says yes. I'm going to be bringing this up with our Missions Pastor soon so pray that the Lord will speak to him as well. I'm excited, nervous and a little anxious, but I know it will all work out according to His will. Pray that my parents and the rest of the team's parents will be at peace about letting us go.

I am ready to be sent....to go into all parts of the world and preach the gospel.

Here is a song that was written by my cousin the night my Grandma was rushed to emergency from a heart attack. Tuesday, April 15th at 5:50am my Grandma went to see Jesus face to face. It is with great joy that I annouce her graduation to heaven, I can only dream of what she is seeing right now. She is missed so much and has set such an example of a woman that all her daughters and grand daughters can only hope to be. The strength that this woman had was incredible, she was so amazing and truly was an example of the Proverbs 31 woman.

"Why Couldn't You Stay" - By: Adam Mason

Sorrow fills the room

Tears fill the eyes

It's too hard saying our once and final last goodbyes

Standing aunts and uncles

Weeping sisters and brothers

Staring at the years of the most loving mother

You were always there

Always the one to care

What was on our mind?

Why couldn't you stay to meet the love of my life?

To sit there as she walked down the isle

Why couldn't you stay as I made her my wife?

Now you won't be there to see my first child

A husband looks back on the years of his life

Did I treat her with love, did I do things right?

A love that can't compare

A love that will always be there

In our thoughts and memories

Why couldn't you stay a little while longer?

And now you're goine I pray that we'll all be stronger

Why couldn't you stay just one more day?

I guess it had to be this way

Laying in that bed

With death and sickness all around

But life in a soul that has been found

The sweetest being on the face of this earth

Leaving us now with the peace that she deserved

Why couldn't you stay a little while longer?

And now you're gone I pray that we'll all be stronger

Why couldn't you stay just more day?

I guess it had to be this way

She left us with example of the lord of Christ

And show us what love is and how to self sacrifice

The message in this song is for all who don't believe

That God's love is real as it was in our dear Pauline

I am really missing Mali tonight. I have been trying and trying to get my mind off of it, but the place just sneaks back in and I can't help but wish that I was back there. I was downloading pictures that a friend gave me and looking at them just made me want to cry. Everytime I see pictures  from Mali, my heart aches. I can't explain the exact feeling but it's like there is a part of me that is missing, a part of me that is still in Mali and most of all, its all of me that wants to go back and be there. Those childrens faces play over and over in my head and I long to see them, to be with them, to play with them, and to see their smiles.

Please pray as I seek God's will on where He shall have me be. I keep praying that He will either change my heart away from Africa or that He will change my parents hearts and let me go. Pray that I will be obedient in all things and that I will not act on anything until I know it is 100% GOD.